Off the Clock
by Erase99
Summary: Setsuna is hearing voices! Don't worry Sets, no one thinks you're crazy. Overtime does that to all of us...


Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon…but you already knew that, right?

BTW: 'this' means thought, and _this_ is Setsuna's crazy inner voice, cuz she's just nutty like that. We love her anyway, though. Now, on with the story!

** Off the Clock**

_ No, no, no, no, no…_

"Hey Setsuna, would you be able to work a couple hours over tonight?"

"Uh…" _N. O. Say it with me…_ "Sure thing, Sanjuro."

_ God damn it…_

'I'm sorry! I couldn't help it!'

_ Yeah, you are pretty sorry, aren't you? That's the fourth Friday in a row!_

'Hey, with Kenshiro on vacation, the observatory is getting a little hammered right now, they could use the extra help.'

_ Right, but are you willing to suffer through Sanjuro's horrible pick-up lines for an extra two hours? I know I'm not, and I'll be damned if I have to sit through it because you like playing Ms. Doormat!_

'You don't have a choice in the matter anyway, so just shut up will you?'

_ Hey! It's not like I enjoy being the voice in your head! I'm still waiting for you to begin questioning your sanity and go see a shrink! I want out, damn it!_

'Hey, I saw Dr. Freud that one time! He said I was perfectly fine.'

_ That's because he spent more time psychoanalyzing your breasts instead of your brain._

'Whatever, besides, where would you go? You're stuck with me. I've long accepted the loss of my sanity, we're inseparable now.'

_ Well screw y…crap, here he comes again, hide me!_

"I can't hide you, you're in my head, silly."

"Hide what?"

Setsuna froze. 'Oops, did I just say that out loud?' _Yep, you did._ "Uhh, nothing…I was just thinking out loud…heh heh." She rubbed the back of her head, feigning innocence.

'It's the truth.'

_ Sadly, it is._

"Oh, okay…well anyway, I was thinking, since we were both still here, that umm…maybe I could treat you to dinner? I brought an extra lunch with me, if you'd like to share."

_ DO NOT say yes, you'll only encourage him!_

"Um, sure, thanks…I'll just be right here working…at my desk…"

_ You are an idiot Setsuna, and I mean that in the worst possible way…_

"Oh really? Wow! I mean, yeah…I'll just…uh…go heat it up now."

Setsuna sighed. Picking up her pen, she began filling out more reports.

_ Hummina Hummina Hummina…_ 'What are you doing?'

_ I'm trying to take control of your hand._

'Pray tell, why?'

_ So I can make you perform seppuku with that pen! Why do you think? Honestly…_

'What? You can't take control of my body…can you?'

_ I can only hope…_

'Seriously, though…why do I have you in my head? You never explained that part to me.'

_ Okay, well…I remember it being something about splitting your consciousness, allowing you to track multiple time streams, or something like that. It was mother's idea. Personally, though, I think she just wanted to mess with you. I mean, if I had a daughter like you, I'd want to screw with her mind too._

"Hey, you leave my momma out of this!"

"What was that?" Came a voice from the office lounge. Setsuna sweatdropped. "Nothing! I didn't say anything!" 'Damn it, see what you made me do?'

_ Yup, ain't it fun? I can mess with you, and that lamer over there at the same time. I'm beginning to like this…_

'Well shut up before he thinks I've lost it!'

_ Haha, my dear, you already have._

Sanjuro returned with a steaming bowl of rice and some dumplings, setting one bowl at Setsuna's desk. Pulling a chair from a nearby cubicle, he joined her.

"Oh, thank you…it looks good." Setsuna and her inner crazy voice both winced internally at her pathetic attempt to sound grateful.

He beamed, starstruck. "Thank you! I made them myself. I hope you like them."

_ And I hope you get an odango stuck in your throat and die, you pitiful, pitiful man…_

'Well, the rice isn't that bad, at least.' Setsuna thought, proceeding to pick up a dumpling. _That dumpling reminds me of Usagi._ 'No it doesn't, knock it off.'

_ What losing your appetite?_

'I just might if you don't shut up!' She thought, raising the chopsticks toward her mouth.

_ AHHH! Setsuna-san! What have you done? Do not worry, my friend, I forgive you. Please, I don't think I can last much longer, promise me one thing, that you'll…take…care…of Mamo-chan…for…me…_ Her inner voice said, mimicking Usagi.

'Will you shut up? That was low, even for you!'

_ Hey, you're the one who picks all the winners to pawn over, you brought it on yourself, missy._

"Hey, Setsuna, are you alright? You seem a little distracted." Sanjuro looked into Setsuna's garnet eyes, placing a gentile hand over her own. "If you need to talk about anything…I'm here for you."

'Crap' _Ditto._

Setsuna snapped her hand away quickly. "No, Sanjuro, I'm fine. It's been a long day." She said, "One with too many distractions." She finished in a rather pointed tone.

_ You did not just aim that last part at me, girlfriend…_

'You damn right I did, now buzz off and go bug someone else, like Minako. I'm sure she has plenty of other voices in her head that you can play with.'

_ No thanks, she actually thinks hearing voices is a good thing…_

"Setsuna, I'm serious…you seem a bit troubled…hey, uh, why is your eye twitching like that?" Sanjuro started to back away nervously.

"I told you I'm fine." Setsuna was beginning to get tired of this. "Listen, I think I'd better go now, I'm supposed to be cooking dinner for my family tonight." She said as she began to pack up.

Sanjuro's eyes widened. "Your…family?"

"Yeah, you know…my daughter Hotaru, and of course Haruka, and…"

"Haruka? As in Tenoh Haruka?" Sanjuro interrupted, beginning to look visibly downcast.

"Yes, and I swear if that house isn't clean when I get home, well, you can just forget about dessert tonight Tenoh!" Setsuna took on a dark look, which quite frankly, scared the crap out of her poor co-worker.

"Oh." Sanjuro looked to disappointed to look her in the eye. "I see, well you better go home to your…family…then." Spitting the word 'family' out with great difficulty. "But Setsuna, promise me that if…" He looked up, only to find her already gone. He sighed. Oh well, he would never give up on her, he'd try again next Friday, and every Friday after that. Tenoh Haruka had better watch out, there was a new man in town!

'Whew, finally got out of there.' Setsuna thought, oblivious to her co-workers state of heartbreak.

_ About freaking time too, could you believe he tried to hold our hand?_

'I was **this** close to smacking him for it, too.'

They reached the parking lot, and began heading for Setsuna's modest Mitsubishi Eclipse. Until she spotted something a few parking spaces away.

_ Hey, wait a minute, that's Sanjuro's car, right?_

'Yeah, why?'

_ You should go let the air out of his tires! That'll teach him!_

'What? I'm not going to stoop to such levels of immaturity! How childish of you to think of something like that!'

_ Oh come on! You know you want to. After that move he put on you in there, it's the very least you should do!_

'Absolutely not. I refuse to give in to such destructive impulses.'

_ Do it._

'No.'

_ Do it._

'No.'

_ Do it!_

'No!'

_ Fine, that's enough. You can go on your self-righteous way then for all I care._

Setsuna started her engine. 'I'm glad you realize who's the boss in this relationship.' With that final thought, she headed off for home.

Half an hour of tiring work later, (i.e. planning on how to wrest his beloved Setsuna from the arms of that wicked Tenoh.) Sanjuro stepped into the parking lot, ready to head home to his one bedroom apartment, to rest, relax, and pray in front of his shrine of Setsuna (complete with life-sized clay sculpture!) What greeted his eyes was not the least bit relaxing.

"God damn it, that's the fourth Friday in a row!" He fumed. "When I find the little miscreants who've been letting the air out of my tires…oh man, are they going to get it!" He spat, reaching into his pocket for his cell phone to call the tow truck.

_END_

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